on turning 19.

outside mvp318-enta room.
with the redpants twins gabby and dianne. :)

oh dear, it's true. "getting younger" is not possible. my ym stat the other night said "who's turning a year younger tomorrow?!!?" booo. then i remember this riddle in gradeschool, in Filipino class "ano ang laging nadadagdagan pero hindi nababawasan." or something. HAHA. I FORGOT. okay. (gahd, i'm growing old. haha) and of course, the answer is banana.


KEEEEEDDING. hahahahah. AGE. :)
is it even possible to celebrate your debut this year and turn 17 next year? haha. maybe in other galaxies, but not in this one. hahaha.


and so today, i woke up at 730 to prepare for my 930 class. my monday schedule is very hectic.
930-1030 Rizal and the Emergence of the Filipino Nation
1030-1130 MY ONLY BREAK FOR THE DAY
1130-1230 Philo 102
1230-0430 PsychTesting LAB
0430-0730 Industrial Psychology...

and starting now till the end of january, i will be having rehearsals everyday. This November, i will be having two rehearsals. so everyday, XPRES (ENTA's newbie prod) rehearsals are from 430-730, followed by Unang Baboy Sa LAngit rehearsals at 730 till God knows when.

History was good. Sir Gealogo. We didn't know his class was in Filipino. His is the only history165 class in FILIPINO. and while struggling with Philosophy in FILIPINO, i have to struggle with this too. not that i suck at Filipino, (in fact i get better grades in Filipino than in English). it's just that. i UNDERSTAND better when in English. oh well. i can deal with it. :)

Philosophy was okay. as usual, we didn't discuss anything. he just went on and on about what happened last semester and what's going to happen this semester. :)

oh, and gar surprised me with my favorite Iced White Chocolate Mocha and Strawberry Belgian Waffle both from starbucks. THANK YOU GAR! :) and i saw cutie again. good thing he didn't get transfered to another philo class, and that he's still in the same philo class. :) weewoo!

Psychological Testing LAB was good. i can't believe she used up all the 3 hours for the first class. oh well. we were productive anyway. she started discussing the class syllabus of both lecture and lab... we picked our groupmates for the group projects and then picked a partner for the psychological report... deni&oli forever, gar&lei. and so i quickly asked winnie if she had a partner already. HAHAHAHAHA. well well well. zoology all over again. But having winnie as my partner doesn't mean i'm gonna freeload everything. HAHA. if she wants, i can do most of the work. HAHAHAHA. after, our teacher handed out this booklet... it was a personality test of some sort, and we all took it for about half an hour. And then we exchanged answer sheets with our partners for her to check it... out of 46, i scored 38 on extraversion. which was shocking actually because i'm a shy person. :) (OKAY DON'T PROTEST. shyataaap!) we spent the rest of the period interpreting our partner's answers, AND WE DIDN'T GET TO FINISH PA HA. hhahahaha.

Industrial Psychology... teacher was nice. HAHA. oh oh, and. we had to pick our groupmates too. HAHAHA. no comment. hahahaha. one of our groupmates was TOO EXCITED on our topic: occupational health. HAHAHA.

(now that i've blogged about it, i feel like a real junior already. terms are too technical. too psych haha)

After my class, i went straight to the Unang Baboy rehearsals... it was expected of us that we have already memorized our lines over the break. BOO. i didn't. was too preoccupied with XPRES. sigh. i don't even know if i'm gonna survive rehearsing one play after the other. haha. BUT I CAN DO THIS.

i'm gonna use my planner, for the remaining two months of it.
mingkay asked me awhile ago how my birthday was, and i just answered "stressful".
because after this day, i had to think about everything i was doing during the semester and to condition myself that i HAVE TO ACCOMPLISH EVERYTHING without sabotaging my academics.

Here's a list of what i have to. do well? accomplish? survive?
- HISTORY. read read read read read. just friggin read. that's all i hafta do to survive.
- PHILO. read. just friggin read the handouts. or LISTEN INTENTLY. please.
- PSYCH TESTING. overwhelming workload i tell you. super overwhelming. it's like experimental psychology times 3. so. i have to be OC and keep things in order. and not freeload.
- INDUSTRIAL ORGANIZATION. many groupworks. must keep myself involved. participative. reciting in class. (reciting isn't really my thing. but will try to)
- haven't met my social psych teacher yet, but i bet socpsy will be fun.
- XPRES at the end of november. no actually it's next week already. so. this is it. i just have to convince my stagefright to GO AWAY.
- Unang Baboy sa Langit rehearsals. schedule is very tight. we have over a month to complete everything. all the acts, all the scenes, all the songs, all the dance numbers. so. *jumps off a building*
- NO SPEED LIMIT preparation. oh dear. i just have to keep myself together and remind myself that i still have this project. everything will go according to plan. go timee!
- NSTP. i can do it.

oh oh, and this semester, i'm not gonna text in class. for 2 years now, it's been a habit. and now i'm breaking it. FOR MY OWN GOOD. kamon i can do it. haha


i went home after our rehearsals, bought pizza for my roommates and then went straight to blogging. tita cynch was asking how my birthday went, and i just replied "it's a normal special day" whatever it meant. haha

but no really. i think.

pinky asked me the same thing too, and i guess i gave her a more elaborative explanation. you know the feeling that this day is supposed to be a special day, that you know this is different from the rest of the days of the year... your heart beats differently (it did today), you look at things differently (more perky, cheerful, sunshiny, happy)... you feel like you're flashing a different kind of smile today (it felt that way), you feel like floating (i felt like that today)...


but more of the feeling that it's just a normal day? because i felt like that today. i knew it was a special day for me. but i felt normal. if not for the greetings and me feeling more sunshinier... it would've been just a normal day. :) (except for one thing. someone said something today. HIHI.) and i don't have a problem with that, it's just that. because i feel that way today, i feel that this day, november 10, 2008 has been the most unusual birthday i've ever had. :)

maybe because. ugh i don't wanna say this.

maybe because. as pinky put it, my "party" phase is over.
at one point in everyone's life, you get to say "i'm too old for birthday parties". (well, parties in the sense that you have to invite EVERYONE you know, that you have to make it a BIG celebration, that you have to plan it months before.)
you might say that i'm too young to be feeling that way. yes, because i know i'm not too old for birthday parties. but.

A debut is probably the last BIG and EXPECTED and CELEBRATED birthday party a girl can have. well. she can opt to have a grand celebration of her birthday every year. but. if you think about it, typically, what's special about turning 19? or 23? or 42? or 61? it doesn't generally mark anything. (well, maybe there are exceptions. i don't mean ALL BIRTHDAYS. haha.) it just says you're a year older.

and now, a year after my debut, i'm thinking. this is it. my party phase is over. i'm done demanding for a huge celebration from my parents. i'm gonna celebrate soon using the money i will be getting from hard work. I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!!!! :( HUHUHUHUH.

that's just the point of how i'm feeling. i'm just not a kid anymore.
it doesn't really make me sad or anything, it's just. sinking in.
and the more it sinks in, the more i realize that i have to think about things in the future.
that there are other things to think of than rehearsals... than blogging... than deciding whether i should get a haircut or not... than planning my outfit for the day...
there's just more to life.

and i guess turning 19 introduces me to this "moreness"
nevertheless, i'm ready. :) BRING IT ON. :)

but one thing i know for sure. :)

I WILL NEVER BE TOO OLD FOR BIRTHDAY PARTIES. :)
it's mah birthday! we're gonna party like it's mah birthday!!! we're gonna sip bacardi like it's my birthday!!! WOOOH