i hate my boobs.

but sometimes it helps to think that i'm more blessed than the others. BWAHAH.

but today was not my boob day.
i went to the music workshop today. learned a lot of good things from our musical director, sir noel.. and we also learned a new song from the play itself.. so.. it was good.
we then had lunch at world topps.. and then josh and i went to the CADs ORGreps PROD number rehearsal... learned really hard steps. WHEW. and then went to the ENTAyaw rehearsals.. we were complete for like 30 minutes. WOOH. But finally, we were done with our blockings and transitions. and we just need polishing and stuff. so. i'm positive about it.

today just required a looooot of movement, and i'm just sooo tired. my bra wasn't cooperating with me, i think i need to find a bra that feels like it's not there. suggestions anyway? not wearing a bra is not an option. although i think it's very comfortable, i also think people around me aren't going to be comfortable. rofl.

and so my bra wasn't cooperating, i had a hard time moving around. every step, i needed to fix my bra. but then i don't think it was the bra. i think that if i had smaller breasts, i would be more comfortable moving around.

and i was more pissed when i arrived at my dorm to the smell of stinky dishes. i had to wash them, and i couldn't move around the room because there were too many stuff lying around and i needed space to just fall and sleep on the floor. arg. i don't know if i'm making sense anymore. i'm just really really tired.

and i realized a lot today.
it was just a really bad day.

i woke up pissed off because of things i cannot put here in my blog.
i'm sorry but i was just pissed off at most of the people i saw today. "most". NOT ALL.
what was probably a good part of my day was the CADs rehearsals. because it was productive.
i'm not saying that the music workshop and the entayaw rehearsals weren't productive.
they were. i just love dancing.

i realized.
i don't like being rushed. i like to do things on my own pace. i know whenever i'm slow or i'm too fast, and i know when to adjust. i don't like people nagging me, reminding me what to do because I KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW. I DONT NEED PEOPLE TO REMIND ME. (unless i ask them to, or unless i badly need it)

i don't like being pushed around. literally and figuratively. today i was pushed(literally), and it pissed me off. i don't know. maybe, it's psychological. maybe it's something related to me not wanting people to tell me what to do. because i know what i'm doing and what i ought to do.

i don't like people stepping on me, figuratively and literally. LALO NA ANG LITERALLY. HELLO, TANGA KA BA, ANG LAKI KO NA NGA DI MO PA AKO MAKITA. i was stepped on today, a lot of times by a lot of people in different parts of my body and it pissed me off. nakakainis yon. even if it was an accident, nakita mo na nga ako don tapos aapak ka pa. tanga.

sorry. it was just a bad day.

i hate people who are insensitive.
i hate people who are so full of themselves, they ask you things about you so that they can prove they're better than you.
i hate people who keep talking about themselves, they don't listen anymore.
(psychologically, the people you hate reflect who you are or who you want to be. and if i'm like that,

i don't care.)

and last.
i don't like people touching or talking to me about my issues regarding my self-esteem. i may seem very outgoing and loud and kapal, but psychologically i have a low self-esteem. i don't like people talking to me about it or asking me about it. i know how to handle my issues. and if i don't handle them well, then it's my problem not yours. lately i have been sensitive, and it's not funny.
(maybe because i haven't gotten my period in the last two months. and this is just a MAJOR PMS.) but it's not funny.

i'm tired.
i'm sick.
i'm pissed off.

night.